I've been experiencing a lot of writer's block lately, as exemplified by my long period of inactivity.
Inspiration is a funny thing; 
It is an essential fiber of life and human existence, 
yet it is fleeting; aloof; A sort of fabled fairy creature.
Now and then we feel her all around us, buzzing in our ears with an energy that charges our very souls, sending us off into a seemingly endless sea of creation...
And then, just as quickly she arrived, she is gone; leaving us on the open ocean in a rickety boat with no life vest. 
During these latter times, it is easy to want to quit-- 
to call in the air rescue team to come pull us off of that damned boat and get us home and into some warm clothes. 
Because being outwardly abandoned in unfamiliar territory is not comfortable for anyone. 
It can feel risky, lonely, bleak. 
But, as humans who wish to live creative lives (in whatever field or magnitude that may be), we must keep rowing that boat into the great abyss; 
Keep working, keep creating, even without that fairy of inspiration on our shoulder.
Because one day, when we are least expecting it,
she will show up again, and light up the dark sea-sky with her vivacity. 
And we must be there to catch her and use her; in fact it is our job to be there.
I loved this passage from a book I recently finished called Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert:

"I have a friend in Italy who's an independent filmmaker. Many years ago, back when he was an angry young man, he wrote a letter to his hero, the great German director Werner Herzog. My friend poured out his heart in this letter, complaining to Herzog about how badly his career was going, how nobody liked his movies, how difficult it had become to make films in a world where nobody cares, where everything is so expensive, where there is no funding for the arts, where public tastes have run to the vulgar and the commercial.....
"Herzog wrote my friend a long reply of ferocious challenge, in which he said, more or less, this:
"'Quit your complaining. It's not the world's fault that you wanted to be an artist. It's not the world's job to enjoy the films you make, and it's certainly not the world's obligation to pay for your dreams. Nobody wants to hear it. Steal a camera if you must, but stop whining and get back to work.'"

As a person who has felt much the same way as the author's friend at times, I could appreciate this. 
If you think that Herzog's response was harsh, you aren't wrong... But it was undoubtedly true. 
If we have chosen to pursue paths of creativity, we must then be creative about how we will continue to grow, thrive, and remain confident in an environment where there is no certainty regarding where our next subject matter or bit of inspiration might come from. 
This creativity is not limited to "the arts," mind you. On the contrary, creative living can encompass anything which makes a person feel passionate and alive, or transcends one beyond the plane of basic human survival. 
Whether that's architecture, fashion, marine biology, painting, sport, collecting novelty Pez dispensers-- doesn't matter. Whatever makes you feel passionate and inspired, that is your art.
The world is not to blame for lulls in your inspiration, however-- 
because if you have chosen to do what you love, then it is your job to get to work with a fervency that makes the world want to love it too. 
Thus, we often find ourselves at a juncture where we must decide whether to trudge along in the absence of our fickle friend Inspiration and risk creating shit work, or take a "break" and move onto something else for an unspecified period of time until she returns for us.
While I tend to take the latter route, the correct answer is the former (if you ever hope to get anywhere in your endeavors, that is).
If we sit around waiting for Inspiration to knock down our door, we may wind up sitting for a very, very long time.
Inspiration needs fuel, a host with enough momentum to carry her, even when she becomes heavy with languor. 
The best way to call Inspiration back to us, then, is to get to work. 
Even if our work is feeling uninspired and tedious, we must do it, and do it earnestly. 
Because we never know, as we are working we may stumble across some idea or creative tangent which ignites Inspiration to return to us, that we wouldn't have discovered if we were being stagnant.
So do what you love.
Get in bed with your passions; marry them.
Stick by them for all that they're worth: 
The highs and the lows, 
the profound and the uninspired. 
Then watch, as your efforts sail you around the world.

xx, Bailey

Success, and the Delusion of Inadequacy

Let's journey back
To a time long ago, when the aim of the human race was survival.
An idea comprised of obtaining food, water, and shelter.
During this time, achieving said goal of mere continuance made a species or a member therein "successful."
Now enter 2016;
Some people in the world still live this way.
However today, we tend to consider those aiming only to survive as "less fortunate."
With most of us living comfortably and finding our next meal or source of shelter not difficult to come by in our technologically advanced society, we have free time.
Too much free time; wherein we have created illusionary needs and goals and definitions of achievement, which we have in turn applied to our species as a whole.
If you aren't making x dollars annually, you fail occupationally.
If you aren't thriving on this social platform, you are not well-liked; you fail socially.
If your looks do not meet these standards of excellence, you fail physically. And so on.
Historically and scientifically speaking, this is the opposite of true.
Before we had this abundance of spare time to create problems for ourselves, the laws of nature would have said that if you were surviving, you were succeeding.
Because what is success? There is no concrete definition.
Webster says that it is "the accomplishment of an aim or purpose." Therefore, success is subjective. 
What is your aim? What is your purpose? What do you dream of? What makes you feel alive?
That is your success.
We have become wrapped up in this culture in which we measure ourselves against everyone else.
We compete with their dreams and their goals, and often times those dreams and goals don't even belong to them to begin with; they too are competing with another's.
We spend so much time competing that we forget to live, and ergo by the very basic scientific definition of success, we have all failed.
Gauge your success against yourself. Where you've come from; where you want to go.
The lie of society has triumphed in making its elemental members feel inadequate and insane for far too long.
Nobody except you has the right to determine whether or not you are flourishing.
And if ever you feel like a failure, remember that you are alive. That fact in itself is the greatest and most absolute measure of success that can be quantified or agreed upon by humankind.
You are successful.
Now work on being unique. Work on being decent.
Use your innate human achievement to reveal to others how successful and beautiful they are, too. 
What is to come of this Earth if we spend all of our time with our heads down, dabbling in trivial matters to reap meaningless rewards?
True honor lies in exposing beauty;
Lending inspiration;
Sharing in substantial relationships;
Protecting and appreciating the cycle of life, and the abundance of our gracious planet which is ever-dwindling;
Leaving this place better off than we found it.

Find peace in the fact that life is a continuous gift-- one that would be a shame to waste on anyone else's idea of what matters-
And so long as you are breathing, you have won. 

xx, Bailey 

create your sanctuary

Everybody needs one:
A place to where they can retreat... 
Feel creative; peaceful; still, in a world that is anything but.
The goal is to develop one's own mind to become this sort of sanctuary.
But nevertheless, its does not hurt to have a physical place that can act as a catalyst for creative cognition and ideation-- or, even, for the most epic nap of all time.
If you are so fortunate to have a place to call home (100 million people in the world do not) it is nice/crucial to have an area that is all your own where you can go to find peace... Your fortress of solitude, so to speak.
Mine is my bedroom, though one day I hope to have a separate room to dedicate to my practices of art, meditation, reading, being, etc.
Wherever you designate your space to be, it is important to keep it 
comfortable, clean and full of inspirational energy.
Every person's sanctuary will inevitably be different, but if you try and craft yours with those three characteristics in mind, you will wind up with a place that you find peaceful, creative, and unique.

My personal style is earthy and minimalistic.
I like light neutral colors, desert tones, and rustic-looking handmade or secondhand knick knacks.
I also have a million candles which I keep lit almost constantly... Candles are essential to my sanctuary's positive energy flow.
All of my candles are, for the most part, either made by me (I will post a how-to on that later), or purchased from Anthropologie or Urban Outfitters.
Favorites include Volcano by Capri Blue and Tobacco & Patchouli by Paddywax Apothecary. 
In addition to my candles, trinkets, and neutrally hued space, I also love keeping fresh flowers on my surfaces, bright string lights around my windows, and books-- everywhere. 
The fusion of all of these elements gives my room a magical feeling which inspires me to relax, learn and create.

Below, I've pictured and explained the details of my decor to hopefully provide you with some inspo / a jumping-off point when you go to build or update your own sanctuary. 
Remember, your space should be a unique reflection of who you are.
What inspires you? What makes you feel safe, peaceful, and expressive? What reminds you of your hometown, family or childhood?
These are the kinds of questions you should ask yourself as you create your sanctuary.

My dresser, covered in candles and vintage gems.

A handmade ceramic leaf tray gifted to me by my Aunt. I use it as a surface for my healing crystals, clary sage, and various scents I find soothing. To the right, my favorite Paddywax candle, flowers in a beer bottle, and a lantern.

My geometric terrarium, Mother's gold candle holder, and some various vessels for candle votives. s/o to alliteration. The one in the middle is a Himalayan salt rock, which purifies the surrounding air and charges your space with ions for a calming effect. I got the little bronze one at an Indian supermarket; it was designed to heat incense for offerings. The mirrored pyramid was a snag from the greatest store ever-- Urban Outfitters. 

My windows, surrounded by bright string lights. Between them, the skull of some poor desert animal. Kidding-- it's fake. I also like to adorn my walls with homemade dreamcatchers, so I always sleep like a bebe.

The little bookcases that frame my bed on each side. In them I have countless genres of literature-- old and new-- as well as journals, sketchbooks, and my boyfriend's Gameboy Light which I've been using to play Pokemon, since I'm an adult. 

My sheared Alpaca teddy bear from Peru, pictured with some of my favorite reads right now. The Wes Anderson Collection features a timeline of the filmography of my personal favorite director ever, as well as interviews with the man himself. In the middle is a magazine I recently acquired called Brownbook: An Urban Guide to the Middle East. This is Issue 54 entitled "Plants," as well as an insert from the Cairo Observer that came with it. To the right, The Alchemist and Five Acres and Independence: A Practical Guide to the Selection and Management of the Small Farm (I found it at a thrift store and was intrigued).

A parchment poster that I got from a random vintage store in Wyoming and absolutely adore. Below it sits my record player, currently featuring Acid Rap by Chance the Rapper.

My desk, topped with some various art supplies and, of course, more flowers and candles. Above my desk hangs a scratch off map of the World (gifted to me by a dear friend) that I haven't scratched anything off of yet because I think it looks too cool in gold and black. 

I would love to hear what types of things you would choose for your own sanctuary, as well as any inquiries or suggestions in the comments below!
Happy weekend :)

xx, Bailey

the here, the now, the everything

I want all of it
A full heart; An open mind; A good night's sleep; $1.5 billion; A peaceful mental state when reflecting on the past or considering the future; Mac and cheese that registers with the body as celery...
But here lies the problem: 
To want is to indicate to yourself and others that you are without
when, truthfully, you are without nothing.
Believe you are rich and you will feel so-- in spirit if not monetarily.
Recognize the great health that you already posses, and you will effortlessly ensure measures to maintain it.
Acknowledge the fact that without the past happening precisely the way that it did, you would not be the person you are right now,
and that the future is but an illusionary mystery; one we ought not concern ourselves with.
All we have, I mean the only tangible and propitious gift that we possess, is the present.
Right here, right now, all around us.

And we are missing it.

We consume ourselves with constant distractions.
Thoughts of irrelevant past; plans for irrelevant future; the opinions of others.
What we should be focusing on instead is this exact second in time...
On the elements of life and celestial existence pulsating around us constantly.
The way your chest moves as you breathe.
The way your fingers feel when they touch something.
The way your food tastes as you eat it; the satisfaction of thirst-quenched.
It is nearly impossible in this day and age to pull ourselves out of our heads/smartphones and into the moment... 
We don't even recognize how pathetically un-present we're being.
When you do manage to clear your mind and focus only on the now, one second at a time, you will know:
It feels almost as if you are wearing goggles or seeing the world through the eyes of a dream; 
things look different.
This exceedingly difficult practice of redirecting one's thoughts and, instead, immersing fully in the present, is referred to as "mindfulness."
Practicing mindfulness has been known to have a range of positive effects on things like stress, mental disorders, and even some physical illnesses. 
Being mindful begins with meditation-- with consciously drawing your thoughts and attention to the present moment. 
Thus, how does one start to develop these habits?
Good question. Some form of aid is almost certainly necessary, as meditating is anything but natural for our 2016 edition overexposed-and-overworked brain parts.
But fear not, ya girl's got ya.
About a year ago I acquired a helpful mini-read called The Little Book of Mindfulness by Dr. Patrizia Collard (click title for Amazon link). It outlines 5-10 minute daily exercises to help you embark upon your mastery of meditation. I've also found a few helpful tips from Zen Habits, which I've included below:


1) "Sit for just two minutes. This will seem ridiculously easy, to just meditate for two minutes. That’s perfect. Start with just two minutes a day for a week. If that goes well, increase by another two minutes and do that for a week. If all goes well, by increasing just a little at a time, you’ll be meditating for 10 minutes a day in the 2nd month, which is amazing! But start small first.

2) Do it first thing each morning. It’s easy to say, “I’ll meditate every day,” but then forget to do it. Instead, set a reminder for every morning when you get up, and put a note that says “meditate” somewhere where you’ll see it.

3) Don’t get caught up in the how — just do. Most people worry about where to sit, how to sit, what cushion to use … this is all nice, but it’s not that important to get started. Start just by sitting on a chair, or on your couch. Or on your bed. If you’re comfortable on the ground, sit cross-legged. It’s just for two minutes at first anyway, so just sit. Later you can worry about optimizing it so you’ll be comfortable for longer, but in the beginning it doesn’t matter much, just sit somewhere quiet and comfortable.

4) Check in with how you’re feeling. As you first settle into your meditation session, simply check to see how you’re feeling. How does your body feel? What is the quality of your mind? Busy? Tired? Anxious? See whatever you’re bringing to this meditation session as completely OK.

5) Count your breaths. Now that you’re settled in, turn your attention to your breath. Just place the attention on your breath as it comes in, and follow it through your nose all the way down to your lungs. Try counting “one” as you take in the first breath, then “two” as you breathe out. Repeat this to the count of 10, then start again at one.

6) Come back when you wander. Your mind will wander. This is an almost absolute certainty. There’s no problem with that. When you notice your mind wandering, smile, and simply gently return to your breath. Count “one” again, and start over. You might feel a little frustration, but it’s perfectly OK to not stay focused, we all do it. This is the practice, and you won’t be good at it for a little while.

7) Develop a loving attitude. When you notice thoughts and feelings arising during meditation, as they will, look at them with a friendly attitude. See them as friends, not intruders or enemies. They are a part of you, though not all of you. Be friendly and not harsh.

8) Don’t worry too much that you’re doing it wrong. You will worry you’re doing it wrong. That’s OK, we all do. You’re not doing it wrong. There’s no perfect way to do it, just be happy you’re doing it."

The hope is that with these simple tips and practices, one might begin to recognize the nature of their mind, and start successfully drawing themselves back into the loving and powerful embrace of the here/now.
Life is fleeting, so why waste a single moment at the hands of needless contemplation or anxiety? 
Allow yourself to become immersed in the sensations of currentness.
Begin to find your menial tasks saturated with soul; each undertaking acting as a reflection of the cosmos which echo within your core; let everything you touch become art.
You are just as you are, and you already possess everything you need.
All that other stuff-- it will take care of itself. Believe that.

Love eternal,
xx

a million words

A picture is worth a 

thousand words, they said, 

but I think these are worth 

millions.

Sometimes the best inspiration 

cannot be orated or 

written in words.

Enjoy.

xx

(photos taken from The Death of Cool, Diamonds & Codeine, Wartime in Wonderland, and After the Smoke) 

XVI

Happy Sweet Sixteen to the third millennium! 
It's weird the way the time vanishes... I swear I still feel/behave like it's 2007. 
Though not typically one for New Years Resolutions (I find continuous self-evaluation and improvement to be a more noble and benchmarkable cause), it is an indisputable fact that goal setting is paramount to one's personal growth and success. So why not let the start of the new year coincide with some of your short and long term objectives? No harm there. I just wouldn't go calling them "New Year's Resolutions," because as that Jan 1st square on the calendar shrinks further and further into the background, so might your motivation and incentive (At least from my own personal experience).
That being said, I thought I would use my first blog post of 2016 to showcase a few of my own goals for this year, as well as some books that I'm currently reading, products I'm enjoying, and songs I'm bumping like errryday; Enjoy.


My Goals for the Year:

1) Blog more (at least once a week)
2) Swear less (word to Ma)
3) Finish writing my novel
4) Master the practice of Meditation
5) Photograph for at least 5 minutes every day
6) Exercise 3-4 times a week
7) Send a hand-written letter to a friend each month
8) Get promoted at work
9) Journal Daily

* When setting goals, it's important to try and use specific numerical values and time frames-- This will hold you accountable to a certain standard which will remain clear even if you become less motivated. I've also tried to include at least one goal in each category of wellness: Intellectual, Social, Spiritual, Physical, Emotional, and Occupational. Balancing your objectives this way will lead to an overall improved sense of well-being, even if you don't achieve every single one. 


Books I'm Currently Reading:

1) The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying by Sogyal Rinpoche - This book is crazy deep, insightful, and is sure to expand your mind in some way. It explores themes of impermanence, karma and rebirth, the nature of mind, meditation, the practice of compassion, how to care for and show love to the dying, and much more. Although written from a Buddhist perspective, the book is not matter-of-fact or condescending toward people of other faiths in the slightest, and in fact most of the themes within can be applied to any religion or spiritual disposition. 

2) The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho - On the surface, The Alchemist is an easy-read fiction novel about an Andalusian shepherd, but truly it is much more than that. Written as an allegory for achieving one's true destiny/personal dream, the story is more of a self help piece than light literature. So far I've been very inspired and cannot wait to finish reading. 


Products I'm Currently Using:

1) LUSH Breath of Fresh Air Toner - Contains seawater, seaweed extract, rose absolute and aloe vera to soothe and balance dry or damaged skin.

2) MIZON Snail Recovery Gel Cream - It might sound nasty to put snail secretion on your face, but there's definitely something to it. Korean skincare is years ahead of us-- after using this for just a few days in collaboration with my LUSH toner, my complexion cleared up and I saw reduced redness and oiliness in my skin, as well as shrunken pores. It is not, however, a moisturizer. If you are prone to dry skin, you will need to apply lotion after this cream. 

3) Natural Anxiety Remedies (New Chapter Holy Basil Force, Life Seasons Anxie-T, Herb Pharm Kava Root Extract) - A big thing I struggled with in 2015 was anxiety/some accompanying depression (the two are very closely linked). It took me a while to pinpoint anxiety as the root of my issue, as it wasn't something I had ever had problems with before. I started taking these all-natural and non habit-forming supplements, and it's crazy the amount of improvement I've experienced in a few short months. Highly recommend if you wrestle with anxiety. Life is short; stress less :)

4) B12 Vitamins (any brand, I use Nature Made) - B12 is a vitamin which carries innumerable positive benefits-- including increased energy, stress reduction, protection against heart disease, cell reproduction for healthy skin and hair, and even alleged protection against cancer. These little miracle pills can be found at any drugstore or supermarket. Take on a consistent basis to feel results!


My Current Playlist:




That's all for now folks. Hopefully (per my above goals) Boho will be comin' atcha much more frequently this year, and I hope that you can extract some inspiration or utility from the ideas and items mentioned in this post. 
Try new things in 2016. 
Go harder; Dream bigger; Love more. 
If there is one sentiment that is consistently drilled into my head and heart each New Year, it's that we don't have time here to waste. 
Own this life. 
xx

thoughts

I like to write when I'm in strange moods;
When I'm very acutely aware of what it means to inhabit my own body, for instance-- preoccupied with neither past nor future, but rather unshakably present; mindful.
My thoughts and feelings are ripe at these times; ready to eat; I overflow. 
Joy, sorrow and ecstasy sit just beneath the surface; I could laugh or cry at any moment. 
Not because I'm PMSing/a woman, but because my perspective has zoomed wayyyy out. 
I see myself and my surroundings as minuscule and yet crucial pieces of a bigger whole: I look around my apartment and see not walls and furniture, but the purpose of those things within the grander scheme, of which I know very little but speculate very much, and very often. 
All cognitions are scattered in the most peaceful way... I drift from one to the next delicately, not missing the last or anticipating the subsequent. 

What languages do we all speak?
Love
Hurt
Regret
Pride
Triumph
Music... art... food...

We are all human, and what extends further-- we are all infinite. Human or not, dead or alive, we each have an indestructible essence which will continue to exist even if we, in our mortal forms, do not. It is this very energy which should make us feel inextricably connected here on Earth. We should love the shit out of each other. We are all we have, and we will not always be around. 
Think of someone you dislike. 
Now think about if you had been born into their body, with their mind, lived life under their circumstances and shared their experiences.
You would be exactly like them. 
You would have done precisely the things that they have done. 
This is the basis of compassion: The ability to understand that we are all different and yet we are all the same. 
We must do everything we can to embody this concept; it is the only thing that will save us. 
I like this quote by O.G. of empathy, Mother Teresa-- 
"If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other."

xx

Artwork by Cameron Gray

we'll see you tomorrow

This young stunner is my best friend Kris. If you're a regular reader you might recognize her from past posts, because she's the sister-type and we like to hang out and go to mountains together and stuff. But today, this is not one of those posts.

Almost four years ago, during the Fall of our freshman year at college, I received an earth-shattering phone call: Kristina's father, the rock and loving support system to her and her three beautiful sisters, had just taken his own life. I broke down instantly at hearing this, imagining what my sweet girl must have been feeling at that moment. 

The months and years that have since ensued have been full of ups and downs. But if there were a silver lining to be derived from the nightmare, for me it would be learning and witnessing firsthand just how strong and brave of a woman I am blessed to be friends with. Kris is the epitome of turning negative experiences into opportunities for growth. She radiates positivity and kindness; if you didn't know her you would have no idea of the hardships she and her family have faced. And truthfully, we have no idea of the hardships that anyone has faced-- a concept which forms the crux of suicide prevention and a cause that Kris has since dedicated herself to: The importance of treating every single human with respect, kindness, and love.

Kristina now lives in Los Angeles and attends Santa Monica College, where she recently completed a course in photography. For their final project, the class was given one instruction: Yellow.

Yellow is the color for suicide prevention, so naturally, Kris chose to use the project to further bear this cause which is so close to her heart. Her photos explore themes of joy and contentment, depression and thoughts of suicide, and finally hope; optimism; the choice to keep holding on. I've included some of these shots (several of which feature her gorgeous sister, Kelly) below. I'd like to thank Kris for allowing me to share her story and photos, but moreover I'd like to thank her for just being the amazing person and friend that she is. 

I love you sis. 

xx

"Above all else, we choose to stay. We choose to fight the darkness and the sadness, to fight the questions and the lies and the myth of all that’s missing. We choose to stay, because we are stories still going. Because there is still some time for things to turn around, time for surprises and for change. We stay because no one else can play our part."  

-Jamie Tworkowski, We'll See You Tomorrow

for more information on suicide prevention and awareness, visit To Write Love on Her Arms